For Married Women, One Chinese New Year but Two Banquets

Chinese New Year is a time for feasting and traditions. But one tradition has less to do with food and much more to do with married women getting to see their own parents.

New America Media, News Feature, Eugenia Chien, Posted: Feb 18, 2007

 

Chinese New Year is my favorite holiday – of course I love the food of New Year celebrations, but as a child, my favorite part was being able to celebrate it twice: once with my paternal grandparents, another at my maternal grandmother’s house. As a kid I didn’t give much thought to being able to see both sides of my family, but recently I found out through my mom that in fact this is an important part of the Chinese New Year tradition.

Traditionally, after a woman married, she was no longer considered a part of her family. When a woman marries, there are plenty of traditions to give her away, but few to make sure she still stays close to her own family. To make sure married women could see their own families on this important holiday, tradition has reserved the second day of the Chinese New Year for married women to visit their own parents.

Growing up in Taiwan, our celebration began on New Year’s eve at my paternal grandparents’ house. They would stock festive staples like tangerines, candied winter melon, and roasted peanuts coated with pink and white sugar.

My grandfather is from Nantou, the only landlocked county in Taiwan, known for its vegetables and poultry. At the center of his dining table was a boiling hot pot, surrounded by paper-thin slices of beef and pork and other vegetables to cook in the broth. He would buy his favorite treat from a restaurant around the corner – a roast chicken glazed with soy sauce. My grandmother cooked a soup made from pork ribs and mustard greens. The long fibers in the mustard greens symbolize long life.

Two days later when my mom took me, my sister, and my dad to visit my maternal grandmother we repeated the feast, but with a few changes. The hot pot that was the main dish at my paternal grandparents' house would be served here as a soup. A whole steamed fish replaced the chicken. With nine children and 13 grandchildren, my maternal grandmother's dinner table was crowded with even more food than my dad’s parents' house.

With so many more people at the dinner, the meal would be supplemented by a big plate of fried pork meatballs and beef stew. Another large plate of fried shrimp with salt and pepper clinging to their crispy shells would emerge from the kitchen just as we sat down to eat.

At the end of the meal at both houses, my grandmothers would fry slices of sweet rice cake coated in egg batter. It was the best part of the meal – unless you count the red envelopes filled with money given to the kids.

Looking back, this double celebration of the New Year seemed perfectly natural. But now I often wonder how disorienting it must have been for my mother to celebrate Chinese New Year with her in-laws for the first time. The food on the table different from what she was used to, the family smaller, and for the first time she would be without her parents and siblings on this important holiday.

Knowing that she would be able to celebrate with her family again in a day or two must have been a relief. Both my mother and my grandmothers have told me how much they appreciate this tradition, and how meaningful it is for them to be able to come home.

Since my immediate family immigrated to the United States, celebrating Chinese New Year with both sides of my family has become an impossible logistic and financial undertaking. With my family spread out across the East Coast, California, and Taiwan, even seeing just my parents for Chinese New Year is a luxury.

I know that when I marry I’ll be forming a new partnership with my husband and his family. But I know that my bond with my own family will stay strong, wherever we may live. Although I still hope that one day my family could live closer together, I’m grateful that there is a tradition to honor both sides of my family.