Setting Up Your First Apartment

...and still making your parents proud

Moving out of the dorms? Starting a new job in a new city? Here is what you will need if you are a young Asian American setting up your first apartment or home…

1. A four cup rice cooker. Forget the enormous industrial-sized rice cooker your mom uses. You are just cooking for yourself, or maybe one more person. The little rice cookers (and they look so cute) of a good brand actually cook small quantities of rice better. If you do have the occasional dinner party, you can just cook two batches of rice. You can also steam buns and couscous in it, as well as cook ramen noodles in a pinch.
   
2. A good cleaver. Again, you do not need the ten pound industrial-sized cleaver your mom uses, unless you are planning to chop a lot of bones. A medium-sized, medium-weight cleaver with some but not too much flex is all you need, especially if you will be poor and eating mostly vegetables. Also good for impressing nosy roommates.
   
3. A medium weight, flat-bottomed wok with two wooden handles. Flat bottomed woks work better for electric ranges, which you will probably see more of in the next few years than a gas ranges. You will need the lighter weight and wooden handles to pick it up quickly when your vegetables start to burn. (Cast iron woks are too heavy to maneuver one-handed, and you will need to search for pot holders before making quick saves with metal handles.) No aluminum or electric woks, thank you. A Teflon coated wok is okay (that is what my mom uses), but it cannot be seasoned and will need to be replaced as the Teflon tears. Carbon steel is best. If you buy one new, scrub it first to get all the machine oil off, then season it by heating some oil in it until smoking (do not let it catch fire). In the future, wash it with a bamboo wok cleaner or a plain metal scouring pad (available in Asian grocers) but NO SOAP, then dry it with a paper towel so that it does not rust.
   
4. A cheap pack of 10 pairs of bamboo chopsticks for $0.99 and a porcelain soup spoon. You will always need chopsticks for stirring your orange juice (or martini) in the morning and rescuing your ring that fell down the drain. Little porcelain chopstick rests will probably lay at the bottom of your kitchen drawer until you move to your next apartment.
   
5. Two real rice bowls and two larger noodle soup bowls. American bowls are just not the right shape.
   
6. A small tea pot with matching little tea cups. My dad bought me a set when I first moved to Michigan, saying, "Good tea in a proper tea cup really hits the spot sometimes." I use the tea pot, but I almost never use the teacups for tea—they are great, however, for drinking sake and serving hot sauce. Raid your mom’s cupboards for a box of really good tea that somebody gave her for Christmas last year.
   
7. A bamboo sushi roller or Asian rolling pin (like a dowel, no handles) or mortar and pestle or whatever other specialized equipment you need to make your favorite hand labor-intensive dish. You will probably never have time to make your own sushi or pot stickers, but one night, late at night, in the dead of winter, far away from any good restaurants or relatives, you will be hit with an incredible homesick craving that will drive you to distraction unless you are prepared. They are cheap and do not take up much room. And maybe when your mom comes to visit you, she will see it in your utensil drawer and make some for you!
   
8. A good basic cook book with lots of pictures for inspiration. Your mom says she will teach you to cook? Ha! Get the basics first, then her lessons will make more sense. My mom wrote out little index cards for me: 1) Cut meat 2) Heat oil 3) Stir fry. She always forgot to mention salt and extra water (for broccoli) because she took them for granted: "Everybody knows you need salt!" After you give up on learning to cook, the pictures can get you psyched to go out to a restaurant.
   
9. Staples: Soy sauce, sesame oil, vinegar, sugar, hot sauce and more hot sauce (black bean hot sauce, Vietnamese hot sauce, dried hot peppers, powered hot peppers, chutney and achar, etc.), curry powder/paste, lentils, coconut milk, your favorite kind of rice (Jasmine, Kokuho, Basmati, etc.), noodles, whatever your particular cuisine calls for. And a case of Ramen noodles. Ask your mom what basics you need. Do not buy these from the regular grocery store if you can help it, get the real thing from an Asian grocer. It will be cheaper and better quality, with more selection.
   
10. Update your phone book with relatives and friends of the family in your new city as well as across the country and Canada. You never know when you will be hit with the urge to take a road trip somewhere, and you will need a place to stay and good food to eat. Call ahead, and remember to bring a box of Danish sugar cookies or a bag of fruit when you visit. Do not bring wine or they will tell your mom that you are a lush. Hide a little ice chest in your trunk in case they try to send you home with all the leftovers. Prepare to be "introduced" to somebody they know who is single and your age and try to enjoy it—it is a small price to pay for a good meal, and maybe this time it will be someone interesting.

Have your mom help you with these things before you move. As you well know, she knows where to get all the best deals and sales (and she will probably pay for it, too). Your new city may or may not have a good Asian grocer, and it will take you some time to find it anyway. Just let Mom take care of it for you. It will make her feel better about you leaving.

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Also by Frances Kai-Hwa Wang with AAVillagers, Asian American Rites of Passage: "You know you’ve become an adult when you buy your first 25 pound sack of rice and…"