Interview: Big Bad Chinese Mama

The creator of bigbadchinesemama.com isn’t as angry as you think she is. She secretly wants to be Miss America.

By LYNDA LIN, Assistant Editor

In her dewy youth, Kristina Wong enticed lonely souls with her strongest asset: her wit. While her classmates at the University of California, Los Angeles were turning in epic-length term papers, Wong created bigbadchinesemama.com, a site that lures you in with promises of companionship with “demure lotus blossoms,” but then backhands you with insults and blaring accusations of patriarchal thoughts and stereotypes.

And like a colonist to M. Butterfly, the visitors came streaming with golden expectations only to find Wong’s lovely face contorted into a mocking scowl, decidedly very un-geisha-like.

Nearly five years after she first created the site as her senior project, colleges are now placing her on their syllabi and inviting her to speak in ethnic studies courses. For Wong, who says she’s at the tender age of “18 to look younger,” life has spread past the borders of the mock mail order bride page. The self-proclaimed “revolutionary tucked inside a solo performer, filmmaker, writer, activist, educator, actor and other hats” juggles a full schedule, but still finds time every once in awhile to dangle some subversive humor to her hungry public.

Pacific Citizen: Are you really a shy, sweet girl on the inside?

Kristina Wong: I’m a totally shy, withdrawn and quiet person when it comes down to it. I just hide it under the facade of a screaming, obnoxious lunatic artist.

PC: What inspired you to create bigbadchinesemama.com?

KW: During my first year of college I was so angry at racism and sexism and my ‘oppression’ … that I almost had an ulcer. I realized, ‘My anger is more oppressive than my oppression. That sucks.’ So I learned to laugh more about things rather than get angry.  

I was also in way too many Asian American Studies classes and went to too many ‘Kill Whitey’ poetry readings where people would go on and on about how  ‘the man’ had done them wrong but never owned up to their own privilege or would dare repeat what they said publicly.

PC: The 690,000-plus visitors to your site can’t all be perverts (I visited several times), but in the beginning was it really lonely men looking for future wives?

KW: No, they aren’t all perverts. Though my site came up eighth in a Yahoo search for ‘mail order brides,’ I am also cross-linked to feminist, Asian American, humor and activism sites. I used to get more nasty messages than nice ones, but I think it was like the same ten guys trying to work my nerves.

PC: What kind of reaction did you receive from your use of colorful language and confrontational message? Is the Asian Pacific American community more receptive to your message?

KW: I think everyone who sees the site hates me secretly or thinks I hate all white people. Some love it. I can’t say for sure. But I get invited to speak at a lot of AA Studies classes and conferences — so that’s some sign of acceptance I guess.

PC: You also performed a skit as `Miss Chinatown’ too. Is she a shrinking violet?

KW: What’s a shrinking violet? Basically, Fannie Wong, Former Miss Chinatown second-runner-up, is the exaggerated version of what I would be had I ever run for the Miss Chinatown pageant. I’m good at the things I do, but I’ve never really been ‘the best.’ And even though my whole life I secretly wanted to be Miss America, I have to be real, because I’d have to do a lot of ‘training’ to be the kind of ‘beauty’ that those pageants embrace.

I am proud of being Chinese. I am proud to be an activist. But unfortunately, I don’t think that singing a really awesome ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ will cut it for the talent portion of the pageant or that a super theoretical explanation of post-feminist politics would make sense for my Q&A.

PC: What would you say is the unifying theme in your skits and theater work?

KW: I feel that I always am interested in not trying to make my life the ‘defining’ AA experience because no one artist can define a culture, a generation or a community. I want to challenge that not everyone sees things the same way. Nobody should. I love that people leave my work feeling like: ‘God. She’s totally making Asian Americans look bad’ or ‘She’s just being stereotypical’ because I want to challenge the notions of ‘positive representations’ and ‘stereotypes.’ 

I am not trying to trash my community, but I do believe that their is power in critiquing ourselves, laughing at ourselves, and most importantly, creating a new perspective out of that and creating art to reflect our worldview.

PC: Do you think that your subversive technique of trying to break down the stereotype of Asian women as shrinking violets has actually created another stereotype for angry Asian girls?

KW: Yeah, probably. But I don’t see myself as angry, and I don’t really see it as my responsibility to dismantle every kind of stereotype there is out there or to micromanage the politics that people leave with after being exposed to me and my work. I hope that people are at least dialoguing about that they see instead of just complaining about me behind closed doors.

PC: How closely is sexuality linked to your work?

KW: I’m very shy about talking about my sexuality/relationships in public and in my work. Mostly because I know my mom is reading this article now and I don’t want to screw up my relationships by scaring partners into thinking that I am always out to turn them into a show. But let’s say that the ‘shyness’ about talking about my sexuality is linked more to my work than the actually sexuality.

PC: What other projects are you working on?

KW: Too many! I am working on a short with Cherry Sky Films, they produced `Better Luck Tomorrow.’ I was also cast in this one person touring show called ‘Faces of America’ that is produced by Will and Company. I also got a grant from the City of Los Angeles to teach performance workshops to women of color and plan to be teaching in spring of 2005.

PC: As always with artists, you have to have a 9-5 day job. What’s yours?

KW: Aiyah, you are so nosy!!! I work part time as an office manager for an AA non-profit. I didn’t have a day job for a long time, but it’s been a positive experience and it exposes me to issues and politics in a whole new way.